Basketball season has been over for a while, so I really have no excuse for falling behind on my writing. But that is life, isn’t it? An ongoing battle to follow ones dreams, even when it’s down a bumpy road.
And the journey toward a worthwhile goal usually is bumpy. I mean, if it were easy to get everything we wanted, exactly when we wanted it, life might be kind of boring. Right? At least I tell myself that. And then I try not to get to angry at myself for putting my writing on the back burner for so long, and then I grab a pen.
It’s time to grab your pen, your gym bag, your resume…your strength.
The time is now.
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. "
~Albert Schweitzer
My husband threw a book release party for the launch of my memoir Back on the Court. (well, he did have help from Heidi and Kathy) Friends and family gathered to celebrate. Models, basketball players & coaches, fellow writers, and friends I’ve met over the years through my kid’s preschool, elementary school and middle school days were there. Even a childhood friend who played with me in the sandbox when I was 3 years old suprized me. I wanted to cry. Okay, I did cry. But it was good to shed those tears and take a moment to focus on the friends that have helped support me through this thing called life.
Take a moment…think about those who have helped support you through life?
“It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.”
-Marlene Dietrich
This quote reminds me of my friend Kirsten. The excerpts to follow are from my memoir BACK ON THE COURT. Both take place after I was in an accident, where I was badly injured and lost my fiancé. Both involve Kirsten, who somehow manages to always keep me smiling.
...When I pull back the cardboard flaps of the package that has just been delivered to the front door, all I can see are empty candy wrappers. That’s my Kirsten. I dig deeper; some of the wrappers have candy still intact. I pop a Hershey kiss in my mouth. As the chocolate melts, I scavenge through the wrappers and find, a book of word search puzzles, a hand painted journal, a plastic toy that looks like it came from McDonalds and the book Curious George Goes to the Hospital. I leaf through the book with what might be my first real smile since the accident.
***
...It’s 11:30 pm when I get home. Before I crawl under my covers, I check my machine and there are several messages, one is from Kirsten. After turning over in bed for two hours, I pick up the phone and dial. It’s 4:30 a.m. in New York, but then, Kirsten is used to my untimely calls.
“Hi, Kirsten,” I say, now on the couch slowly rolling my head, and phone, side to side.
“Hey Sōn, how are ya?”
“I’m alright,” I say, finishing with my neck and finding a comfortable spot on the couch, “but my neck is killing me, I can’t sleep.”
“Really,” Kirsten says, not bothering to hold back a tired yawn.
“Yeah, I’m so sick of it. One stupid doctor tried to put me on antidepressants. I was so pissed. If I need antidepressants, it’s not for my neck.” I pull a yellow throw from off the back of the couch and lay it across Brianna and my chest. “I hate some doctors. Thank god I like Dr. Perry, my orthopedic surgeon, because my surgery to take the rod out of my leg is coming up on April 12.”
There’s another lengthy yawn from the other end of the line.
“I’m not that boring,” I say, smiling to myself, “oh, and guess what?”
“You scheduled a boob job at the same time?” Kirsten jabs.
I shake my head and laugh. I’m glad I called Kirsten, even if she isn’t. Kirsten cheers me up. My “guess what?” question for Kirsten was concerning my new boyfriend Jason. He wasn’t coming to Spokane for my surgery and though I told him I didn’t care, I really want him there. I have begun to count on him more and more and it scares me. What would happen if I lost him too? I don’t think I could handle more pain. Kirsten helps me forget about the “what if’s” and, without knowing, helps me appreciate the “now.”
There is something about new friendships that help me grow as a person, expand my mind, and make me feel alive, even though it is my true nature to hunker down and be alone. It might not seem that way if you know of my crazy schedule, but I cherish “me” time spent in silence. (I didn’t even have a stereo in my car for 10 years just to have moments of silence) Still, life is about human connection and every time I push my boundaries, and make connections, it enriches my life. Recently I met Kayla. I am 45 years old and I was nervous to introduce myself (come on Sonya). Now I have a new writing partner, an assistant basketball coach and a friend, and my life is the better for it.
Do you ever struggle to get yourself to workout? I’ve worked out once in the last 2 months. (I played basketball on my birthday.) I’m always pretty active. I walk, work around the house and yard, that sort of thing, but other than that I’ve been slightly lazy and It’s time I get out of the lethargic state I’m in and hit the gym.
I know how good it feels to be in shape. I’ve been there on and off my entire life, but these days there always seems to be something that gets in the way. Something more urgent. The laundry, the bills, chauffeuring kids from place to place. Even watching TV at times becomes more urgent.
Excuses. Yes, I know they are all excuses, but how do I get going again? It all started when I hurt my toe (yes toe). It slowed me down, gave me a “real” excuse. I still could have ridden my bike, used the elliptical, things of that sort, but I didn’t, I fell into this lazy state of being (and I’ll admit, a part of me really likes it). But now its time to get after it, like the classic Nike campaign, I will start the laundry, do the dishes and then give my self a kick in the butt….and JUST DO IT!
I should be jumping for joy. I’ve got copies of my book on their way, but there’s a heaviness in my soul. It’s not surprising if I think about it, my mixed feelings. I’m happy that I’ve finally reached the goal of sharing my story of recovery, but with it comes a reminder of the loss. My memoir came with a reminder of Mark, a man that will be forever loved and missed. And a reminder for me to take the time to remember those I have lost and appreciate those that are a part of my life. A perfect Special Delivery.
