Basketball season has been over for a while, so I really have no excuse for falling behind on my writing. But that is life, isn’t it? An ongoing battle to follow ones dreams, even when it’s down a bumpy road.
And the journey toward a worthwhile goal usually is bumpy. I mean, if it were easy to get everything we wanted, exactly when we wanted it, life might be kind of boring. Right? At least I tell myself that. And then I try not to get to angry at myself for putting my writing on the back burner for so long, and then I grab a pen.
It’s time to grab your pen, your gym bag, your resume…your strength.
The time is now.
Never give up. I’ve used this philosophy on the court and in life for a lot of years. When I told my husband I was going to write a book, he said, “What do you mean, you don’t write?” He was right, but I knew after Mark died, after I struggled to go on living and to find happiness again, after that journey, I knew I would share my experience in a book. It wasn’t easy. I spent nearly ten years writing my memoir, taking writing classes, going to workshops and putting pen to paper, and then came the hard part, getting published.
Fifteen years into this writing journey, my kids have moved through preschool, elementary school, middle school and as of last week one is now in high school. My hair has grayed (though you can’t usually tell because it’s highlighted blonde) and my Bampa, my grandpa and a huge inspiration to my writing life, has passed on. Much time has gone by, but I never gave up, and on October 16th my memoir Back on the Court will be released.
Do you have a dream that seems beyond your reach? A goal too lofty? Nonsense, if there is something you strive to achieve, believe in your heart that you will do it, and never give up!
Sometimes I have to stop for a moment and breathe. I mean really breathe. Allow the tension in my body to melt away. Recently I have had a lot of these times.
Fortunately, every Thursday I write with my friend Jenny. We hold one another accountable to our writing goals and use the time to put words on paper. Instead of talking about our week, we write a letter to one another as our writing warm up. Yesterday, in my letter I thanked her for our friendship and then dove into my frenzied week. Scribbling at a pace that was as fast as my life, up until that very moment. Field trips, games, photo shoots, business meetings, open gyms and of course the never ending, and dreaded, cleaning. Sentence by sentence, I detailed the chaos and at the end of each paragraph I wrote BREATHE. An explanation to Jenny, and a reminder to myself, of what I should be doing. I wrote. Took a breath. Wrote. Took a breath. And with each breath felt more calm and thought to myself, “…this should be a blog.”
We read our letters out loud to one another. Jenny went first. I smiled as she shared her letter that was written to me. She paused and I watched her shoulders rise and fall. “Breathe,” she read aloud. Our minds were in tune. (this was not the first time.) Jenny had started a blog series BREATH.
There is much to be said about the benefit of a good deep breath. Take a moment now, fill your lungs, hold the air inside your body for a brief moment and then, let it go…breathe…
*For more on BREATH go to www.heartwriter.com
Finding my game face, that determined mindset that helps me accomplish a goal, wasn't easy after my fiancé was killed and I was critically injured in an accident nineteen years ago. I had to rely on the "never give up" attitude and work ethic that I had learned from my days on the basketball court to help me move forward with my life and begin to heal. Though the future was something I didn't want to think about at the time, I set some goals, put on my game face, complete with narrowed eyes and clenched jaw, and battled one day at a time to find the life I have today as a coach, a wife, a mother and a lover of the game.
Putting my dreams on paper has always helped me. The summer before I started high school I set the goal to take 5000 shots so I could improve my game and get ready for high school basketball. I achieved my goal, my summer camp's version of the Peace.Love.Basektball Summer Shooting Challenge and made the varsity basketball team my first year of high school. The next year I became a starter. My senior year, I achieved my ultimate goal, a full-ride athletic scholarship to play basketball. My goals were being realized, but there were many goals along the way that I didn't achieve. I didn't make my goal of First Team All-Greater Spokane League. It was painful to watch that one die, along with others, but they were great lessons. I learned that even when I worked hard, I didn't always get what I wanted. However, I learned to regroup, establish new goals, put on my game face, and work toward my future.
After my accident, it was that "never give up" attitude, instilled in me from my years on the court, that kept me moving forward. I set the goal to walk and went from wheelchair to quad cane, quad cane to cane, and cane to walking. Then I set the goal to play basketball again and that is when my healing truly began. I worked through my grief, strengthened my battered body and found that life was still worth living.
It takes hard work and determination to achieve a goal, but first you must establish a goal that you believe in and then put it in writing. According to a study by Dr. Gail Matthews of Dominican University, people who write down their goals, share their goals with a friend, and send weekly updates to that friend are on average 33% more successful in accomplishing their stated goals than those who merely formulated their goals.
Take the time to make note of your dreams. You can write your goals in a soft leather journal with a fancy tie, in a word document titled "My Awesome Future", or on the back of an old envelope, it matters not, just make it official and write it down. It's helpful to write down when you want to achieve the goal, why you want to achieve it, action steps to reach it, possible obstacles that may arrive when working toward it and how you will overcome these obstacles, but don't let all that scare you. If you need to, make it simple. Grab a pen, write one goal and get to work.
Put on your game face and start setting goals and you will create the future of your dreams.
The following is an excerpt from Sonya Elliott's memoir Back on the Court: A Young Woman's Triumphant Return to Life, Love and Basketball
"I need a new goal in my life. If I can't have Mark, I want back the one other important part of my life. I want to play basketball again...I step on to the basketball court to begin my comeback. Holding the ball near my face, I drink in the familiar smell of leather and then drop the ball to the floor and begin to dribble. I need to dribble the basketball. I need to know that at least one small thing in my life hasn't changed. Dribbling back and forth, back and forth, the rhythm of the ball works its magic on my body and soul. My mind focuses and I forget all that has gone wrong, if only for a moment."
Her voice was remarkably comforting as she commanded every writer in the auditorium to "Go." She, of course, didn't mean for us to leave because we were getting on her nerves, she meant WRITE. Just WRITE.
