Human Nature Connection

Recently I shot with photographer Tim McGuire for his Human Nature Connection project. We had planned on shooting for a couple hours on Tiger Mountain and ended up hiking and shooting there and then driving over to Little Mt Si for several more hours. An amazing day.

I was drawn to Tim’s project because, as much as I enjoy my time in the gym, nature has often been my savior in life, giving me a chance to sweat, breath and open my mind. I feel at peace there and seek it out it times of stress. I’ve included an except from my book BACK ON THE COURT about one of those times. To see more of Tim's Human Nature photos go to Tim McGuire Images.

excerpt from BACK ON THE COURT…

I can feel the tension that’s been building over the past months escape with every mile and every tear. The tears are all but gone by the time I reach the lodge at Paradise and when I see that the snow pack is low enough for me to reach with a short hike, I gather myself, and head up the mountain. There is something in nature that for me helps relieve tension, and at the same time helps me feel closer to Mark. My dad has climbed Mt. Rainer many times and grew up near the Austrian Alps. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to the mountains, to nature. It’s in my blood. The love of nature, of fresh air and pine trees, is a part of who I am.

I head up the nearest trail. The hike is steep, hard for me to maneuver with my injured leg. I like it. When I reach the snow there are two young snowboarders practicing jumps. They have hiked up with their boards and built themselves a ramp. I make a miniature snowman out of snowballs, take a self-portrait with the timer on my camera, and then find a dry rock where I can watch the snowboarders from a distance. I think of Mark. He has been gone, dead, for two whole years. It has been two years since I held his face in my hands and kissed his lips. Two years since we held one another tight and made love. The what-ifs, are unthinkable.

Swallowing hard, I lower my face to my knees and cry. When I look up the snowboarders have gone and I am alone on the mountain. The tears have washed through the depths of my soul and I sit in silence as the sun moves low in the sky. When I begin my slow descent down the trail, I am at peace.

BOOK LUST - Win a free PeaceLoveBasketball T-shirt!

I’m always looking for new basketball books to read. Coaching Philosophy, Skills & Drills, Memoir, Novel. My husband and I just finished the novel BLIND YOUR PONIES by Stanley Gordon West. Six young boys and their basketball coach give their small community something to believe in. It was a great read. A bit on the long side for me (though my 14 year old daughter breezed through it) I truly enjoyed the journey. I have several basketball books that I recommend at the Reading Room section of my website www.sonyaelliott.com, and I would love to get your opinion on more to check out.

To be entered in a drawing to win a free PeaceLoveBasketball T-shirt, and give fellow blog followers potential summer reads, jot down the title (and author if you know it) of a Basketball related book that you recommend in the comment section below.

Good luck and happy summer reading!

(Drawing ends July 31-suggestions can still be added to comments after that date, but participant will not be added to drawing. Participant may recommend more than one book but will only be entered once in drawing)

Just be

I’m too old for Cattle Calls. That’s what we in the modeling industry call a casting for a job with tons of people trying out. I’ve been modeling long enough now that by the time I see a client they have narrowed their choice down to two or three possible models via the Internet. But last week I watched as one by one, girls half my age, strutted into a casting and I thought, “What the hell am I doing here?”

I have learned to ignore my initial reaction. This is another area in my life where basketball has helped me by teaching me to be courageous in times of nervousness or fear. With modeling it’s not so much the competition as the fear of not being good enough, young enough, thin enough, tall enough. Being too muscular, too small, too blonde, not blonde enough. Over the years I have learned that I cannot be what every client wants me to be, so it’s better just to be me. (okay, well maybe a dressed up version of me) J

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” ~Judy Garland

Perfect Expectations

It’s tough being an athlete. And I’m not talking about for professionals; I’m talking about for kids. The expectations today’s society puts on young athletes are crazy. I’ve listened to parents and coaches berate kids for mistakes that are just that…mistakes. No one is perfect. My husband rolls his eyes when I remind him and my kids, “Even the pro’s make mistakes.”

As a coach and a parent I am no Saint. I get frustrated when my kids don’t do the things I know they can do. But I try my best to look at the big picture.

Two weeks ago I played out of my head and scored twenty points in my basketball game. Last week I stunk. I couldn’t hit a shot, threw the ball away and made a lot of stupid mistakes. I wanted to throw my hands up and cry but I’ve learned from my years on the court to dig deep and keep on going. It’s hard for an experienced athlete to make it through the tough games and to remember what all good athletes eventually learn: No one is perfect, just...NEVER GIVE UP.

Young athletes need encouragement and support. Expect them to push themselves and work hard. Don’t expect them to be perfect.

Breathe

Sometimes I have to stop for a moment and breathe. I mean really breathe. Allow the tension in my body to melt away. Recently I have had a lot of these times.

Fortunately, every Thursday I write with my friend Jenny. We hold one another accountable to our writing goals and use the time to put words on paper. Instead of talking about our week, we write a letter to one another as our writing warm up. Yesterday, in my letter I thanked her for our friendship and then dove into my frenzied week. Scribbling at a pace that was as fast as my life, up until that very moment. Field trips, games, photo shoots, business meetings, open gyms and of course the never ending, and dreaded, cleaning. Sentence by sentence, I detailed the chaos and at the end of each paragraph I wrote BREATHE. An explanation to Jenny, and a reminder to myself, of what I should be doing. I wrote. Took a breath. Wrote. Took a breath. And with each breath felt more calm and thought to myself, “…this should be a blog.”

We read our letters out loud to one another. Jenny went first. I smiled as she shared her letter that was written to me. She paused and I watched her shoulders rise and fall. “Breathe,” she read aloud. Our minds were in tune. (this was not the first time.) Jenny had started a blog series BREATH.

There is much to be said about the benefit of a good deep breath. Take a moment now, fill your lungs, hold the air inside your body for a brief moment and then, let it go…breathe…

*For more on BREATH go to www.heartwriter.com

Relishing the Moment

I give my daughter a bad time about being too rough on the basketball court, but in reality I love her feistiness. Last week when I asked if she wanted to come to open gym with me, she looked up from her book and yawned. She was snuggled into bed, our dog sassy draped across her.

“Not tonight mom.”

“Alright.” I said.

I grabbed my high-tops and was opening the door when I heard, “Hey mom, wait!”

My assistant coach and her daughter came to open gym as well, and while my assistant and I lowered the hoops and chatted, the girls shot around. Then by two’s, seniors who would no longer be playing for our high school, arrived to play. I was glad to see them, glad that something about the game and the friendships that they’ve built bring them back to this court even though they are finished with their high school careers.

Once enough players arrived, we played full-court basketball and little miss “I want to read my book” was flying up and down the court, hustling for loose balls and crashing the boards. I couldn’t help but smile. It was heaven for me. Twenty years ago, when I nearly lost my life in a car accident, I never would have dreamed I would be in this place. Playing basketball with my daughter. Whatever her future in the game matters not, it’s this moment we share together.

What are some of the moments in your life that make life worth living?

Balancing Chaos

Last night I received the first round of edits from my editor in LA. My book BACK ON THE COURT, is to be published this fall by Tigress Pubishing and the process is underway. Am I scared? Hell yes! Excited and scared. This book writing thing has been a long process, with life mixed in. But isn't that what life is all about? Figuring out how to blend it all. How to sit down and read 250 pages of edit work when you've got in-laws in town, a birthday to prepare for, tax information to search for (had to file for and extension this year), a team fundraiser to organize, kids baseball & softball games to attend and well, basically just...a life to live.

You all know of the chaos of which I'm speaking. Does finding balance mean that life is slow and void of chaos? Maybe not, though it would be nice at times. Maybe it's understanding that to live a balanced life you can have a lot going on, it's just figuring out how to do it in a way in which you are happy. For some that means scaling back for others it's having a new mind set.

Perhaps tonight I will have to skip my basketball game and hunker down with a cup of tea and my edits. Or maybe go to my game and skip watching The Mentalist with my husband, our Thursday night "date night". Or try to do it all. Which ever I decide, what is important is that I feel good about the descision. Sorry Honey, I'll catch you next Thursday. :)

Check out www.heartwriter.wordpress.com for more thoughts on balance

http://heartwriter.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/creating-balance-effort-part-i/